In a rut! What can I do??

Posted in: Forums > Living in Chengdu • 32 posts • NewestRSS

  • msinglynx
    May 20, 2013
    52 posts

    I've been in Chengdu for a year and a half now. I'm quite established, with a large social group but somehow I've recently found myself incredibly bored. I feel like every damn week I spend the whole week studying, working, riding my bike around town and accidentally eating at Dicos cuz I didnt have time to cook or find a proper restaurant. On weekends it's always Carol's by the River or the Blue Caribbean (BTW is it just me or has Paname suddenly acquired an unbelievably weird vibe? Last 3 times I went there I had completely ridiculous experiences). My friends are also suffering from the lack of creativity and enthusiasm and I havent seen some of them in weeks cuz none of us can bring ourselves to do the same old thing and one of us always ends up cancelling.

    So what do you guys do for fun?

    I'm rather gregarious but recently have discovered the pleasures of solitude. I like reading, writing, tea houses, butterfly parks, museums, art, music, dancing, singing, biking, martial arts, traveling, gardening, animals, volunteer work, eating, cooking...

    Mostly, I'm looking for fun things to do and maybe even new people to do them with. The hardest part of being a long-termer is people tend to move away (another reason it's gotten boring to do the same old thing: the most enthusiastic ones have gone back home).

    So, if you have a suggestion or want to hang out some time, send a message and I will get back to you. I'm a Latina woman, age 28. I'd prefer to meet people (especially local chinese people) between 25-35... I know sooo manye 22 y/o students it's not even funny (actually, it's totally depressing cuz they all go home at the end of this month when they graduate).

  • Young-Elli
    May 20, 2013
    3 posts

    Join a gym/workout !!...... that's pretty fulfilling, at least for most people i know. Its hard in the beginning when you are not into it, but when you do, its something you always look forward to. Its 4:12 am, just woke up and i wish my gym was open already, and i haven't even found my toothbrush yet. lol

    goodluck

  • msinglynx
    May 20, 2013
    52 posts

    I already belong to a gym -_- the same one my friend goes to but we work out at different times and days. But I consider that more of a solitary activity. I dont wanna make friends there, just get to it and be on my way.

    Thanks for the advice though.

  • The Pugs
    May 20, 2013
    7 posts

    Move! China is boring and the world is so big. The cheapness of china is not a factor anymore. Unless you are making good money I can't see how anyone would choose living in a polluted, regressive city worth it! Move.

  • msinglynx
    May 21, 2013
    52 posts

    .... I love Chengdu. I live here cuz I wanna live here, I have good friends, an awesome house, a great job and a comfortable lifestyle. Boredom is a natural part of life that I can experience any where. The cure for me is to learn even more about this city I have adopted because I LOVE it.

  • hapatofu
    May 21, 2013
    149 posts

    I think that's a normal phase in the "4 Stages of Culture Shock" (specifically, the adjustment/depression phase), and it'll get better over time. I think it might also have to do with your age — for me, that was when a lot of my long-term friends started to have kids (read: less time to hang out with friends), but I wasn't on the same wavelength as students in their early 20s.

    I dealt with it by picking up lots of more work (which in and of itself reduced a ton of my free time), exercising much more (running, which I can do with a running partner, and we ran so much we ended up doing half marathon training) and yoga, first in a class and then at home on my own. Both of those can suck up a lot of time! I also started knitting like crazy, which is a great hobby to have in China, and you can learn completely via the Internet (www.ravelry.com is a good place to start). But if that's not your thing, there are lots of other kinds of self-fulfilling hobbies you could try out — drawing is one I've been wanting to do more of, for instance.

    And you can also always organize groups around these kinds of interests, too, as a way to meet new people.

    Although I used to be out at Paname every weekend six or seven years ago, I've pretty much completely stopped going out to bars/clubs because it just ends up being the same old thing weekend after weekend, and it's much more enjoyable now to hang out at home or with a small group of friends.

  • msinglynx
    May 23, 2013
    52 posts

    Yeah, I think I'm in the same situation Hapaptofu. Many of my friends are younger and moving off or settling down to get married and I just feel restless and bewildered. It's all rather unsettling.

    Thanks for the advice.

  • Ronnie Tank
    May 23, 2013
    15 posts

    why not have a relation...you seems not mentioned above that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend...why not get one and play with him/her :)

    get together to have some fun, watching American blockbusters in a cinema, tasting different sichuan foods and try to cook...

    buy some pots to plant blah blah blah...

    one of my foreign teachers said she hate China...Chinese are used to cheat, and to do things depending on relations/connections. then she flew back to the US. I felt upset coz i can do nothing towards this bad situation..

    while you are on vaca, tour some places in China from North to South..

  • msinglynx
    May 23, 2013
    52 posts

    Well for many reasons it's harder for foreign girls to have a relationship in china besides which I am not a fan of casual dating.
    As for your teacher, seems she just didn't understand Chinese style. She seems unnecessarily rude.

  • hunter101
    May 23, 2013
    23 posts

    Yo, come train jiu jitsu:

    cdbjj.org

    Jiu Jitsu will ease your mind.

  • ziich
    May 23, 2013
    14 posts

    If you're bored of the same old routine, then the only solution is to break the routine, obviously.

    Make new friends, try new activities, break the cycle. You like to bike? Maybe you'd like to play some bike polo! (Saturday afternoons outside of Sichuan Gymnasium).
    Maybe you'd like to compete in a Longquan bike mountain climb! (http://www.chengduliving.com/forum/topic/cycling-event-longquan-hill-climb-kill-the-hill-2-may-25th/)
    Tired of the same old cheesy nightlife? Check out the monthly mega party in Flowertown (http://weibo.com/thedojo http://www.chengduliving.com/forum/topic/event-mega-house-party-flower-town-saturday-525/)
    Maybe you need to travel somewhere.
    It's amusement park season, so check out Happy Valley if you haven't been yet.

    There's always something new to do. Just look for it.
    Just please stop eating at Dicos

  • msinglynx
    May 27, 2013
    52 posts

    Hi Hunter. I think Jujitsu is a bit much for me (I have weak wrists and ankles due to a car accident) but I took judo when I was younger and would love to do it again.
    Hey Ziich, actually I have been on a bike ride to Longquan with those bike polo guys. They are pretty hard core and dont seem to care or be interested in anyone who cant keep up with their frantic pace. I actually ended up with dangerously low blood sugar and almost passing out last time I hung out with them so, sorry I am probably not gonna check those ideas out.
    But flowertown party and happy valley are definitely in. I had to miss this last party because of work so I'm happy to hear there will be more... As for happy valley, I am getting my friends together to go in June. Does anyone want to join us?

  • clayuk
    May 27, 2013
    120 posts

    If you don't like your environment, city, state, country or the people in it, don't fret on those things you dislike. Focus on the things you do like because any emphasis on what you don't like keeps you on that frequency.

    It is not so much what you think that creates your reality. It is what you feel. If you feel really good, your reality changes. If you have trouble feeling what you want, your ego is in the way. So imagine what it would feel like to have what you want. That will help get the mind out of the way so that you can manifest your desires.

  • Elite Fitness
    May 27, 2013
    2 posts

    Hello Msinglynx,

    I am holding an outdoor exercise class on Saturday morning at 8:00 near Lan Kwai Fong along the mianjiang river next to the bridge. It's 100 rmb for the month. It could be a good way to meet other people. I would also be happy to talk with you on Saturday about how to control your blood sugar on long rides.

  • zhuren
    May 28, 2013
    1 post

    How about majiang? When I first moved here, I was addicted and playing once or twice a week. It's fun once you get good, takes up a few hours, relaxing (as long as you're winning, hehe) and easy to learn if you don't know yet.
    Try picking up a new hobby. You like music: learn a (new) instrument. Make music on your computer. Explore different genres. Learn to DJ!
    You like writing: write a book! Put your thoughts and emotions on paper with poems or stories.
    You like museums: bring the museum to you. Surf the internet, find documentaries, read some books about a subject of interest. Did you know China has just as many pyramids as Egypt? There's always something interesting to learn!

  • iraglassismyhero
    May 28, 2013
    99 posts

    Hey msinglynx, I feel your pain. It's easy to get in a rut wherever you are; that's half the reason I ended up in China in the first place! Just so you know, I write 'Basi de Hen' for the magazine, and so I'm naturally inclined to be excited about little things. But I kind of feel like, writing the column, it's my job to find something at least once a month that isn't same old, same old, and that's what keeps me feeling the Chengdu love.

    I would recommend Chengdu's parks, temples, cafes, galleries, museums, and daytrips outside the city as a great place to start to shake things up a bit. Recently I've discovered the Chengdu Art Museum near Kuanzhai Xiangzi; a little courtyard tea garden with adjoining galleries that feature an ever-changing roster of traditional and modern Chinese art. I've been loving their stuff lately, and I'm not the kind of person who often goes to galleries and I certainly can't afford to buy art. I've also recently discovered the Submarine Cafe across from Holly's Hostel. It's another place with a great courtyard garden, perfect for the sunny weather lately. Some of my friends have told me about 'Mr. X' a weird place in the Music Park where you get locked in a room for an hour and have to follow clues to get out, so I definitely want to try that as I've never been anyplace like it before. And a few weeks ago I went to a bath house, which is an awesome China experience to have; don't know if you've tried it or not. I also like the less popular temples like Daci Si or Qingyang Gong, to wander around in. Everything's blooming right now, so try not to miss it! Excited about the newly opened Cakey Butta in Tongzilin too, so I can get my sugar fix. :D

    Aside from that, if I may say so, life is about finding where you can be useful and feel needed, so you could try one of the hundreds of volunteer opportunities in town as well. For me, I have a family, teach, and write for the magazine, amongst other things, so all of that keeps me pretty fulfilled. It wasn't so easy when I was single, I'll admit!

    Go through the listings on this and other sites, and choose a new place/event to go to at least once a week. I do that every three or four months, I'd say, just to see if there's something I'm missing. You can also just try walking in a new part of the city. I find the coolest stuff that way. Learning something new is never a bad idea, either.

    Or you could just read 'Basi de Hen' every month. ;)

  • Volunteer
    May 28, 2013
    3 posts

    come to join us :www.handsonchengdu.org

  • Volunteer
    May 28, 2013
    3 posts

    come to join us :www.handsonchengdu.org

  • msinglynx
    May 29, 2013
    52 posts

    Hey Elite. thanks but I know how to maintain my blood sugar. that particular event was intended/organized to be a chill ride out to enjoy the hills and farms in longquan. We didnt realize those guys were hardcore extreme cyclists and we ended up trying to catch up thinking they would wait for us "just a little further". Instead we went miles past where we planned, chased them for hours and ended up at the top of a mountain in freezing cold with no restaurant in sight. We ate at around 3 o'clock only after I threw a tantrum because I was dizzy from riding hard for 7 hours with only 1 break and 2 bananas. Since then (and I kind of think for obvious reasons) I pretty much assumed all those guys were tools and had no desire to have anything to do with any of them. The whole event almost killed my love of biking and ended up with me and a friend having a fight so :p

    As for the class saturday: sweeeet. All my guy friends are crazy about calisthenics at the moment and I've been wanting to do it more often. I know plenty but I always get distracted so a led class might be just the thing. I will definitely check it out.

    Zhuren: haha, I only play mahjiang with kids and they always kick my ass :p

    iraglassismyhero: woah, all kinds of awesome advice! Def gonna check out the museum ASAP (this weekend actually). The Mr. X thing sounds awesome too. Are the clues in chinese or english or? I'm kind of wierded out by bath houses? I kind of assume I must get naked at some point and not really keen on doing that in font of super skinny chinese people hahaha.

    Volunteer: I'm already registered on hands on chengdu :D

  • invisible
    June 3, 2013
    1534 posts

    That Mr. X maze seems to be a chain thing that pops up in several Chinese cities now. Entrance is RMB100-120. open 10 a.m. till late

    somewhere at the East Music Park
    http://www.gochengdoo.com/en/listings/item/che_32960/chengdu_east_music_park

    weirdest room: The concentration camp
    http://pimg.damai.cn/perform/img/pcontent/201301231457251836411460.jpg

    have em fun

  • invisible
    June 5, 2013
    1534 posts

    There is another similar maze called X-room with a virus & a dictator's room
    10.30 a.m. to 10.30 p.m.
    also RMB100/120
    http://www.damai.cn/ticket_45503.html (looks cheesy)

    somewhere around Fuhuayuan Station Exit A of Subway line 1

  • SadeqAmeenAbed
    June 6, 2013
    19 posts

    @msinglynx Sadeq is here, yes your friend haha anyways I really like the x room thing it looks super awesome so let's do that after my exams if it is still open

  • ColinT
    June 7, 2013
    3 posts

    There's an RPG group as well if you want to try out some tabletip games.

  • TokyoJim
    June 7, 2013
    9 posts

    I'll often hop on a random bus and then jump off when I see something interesting. Always making new discoveries that way.

  • photokid
    June 7, 2013
    1 post

    msinglynx, I totally understand how you feel. I've had interesting friends before, and a lot of them have left for their home countries. A big group was reduced to a small one, and it's difficult to just get a bit drunk after having a huge Friday evening dinner. Life is basically boring, and we just gotta continuously try to find fun stuff to do. As for me, I'm recently crazy about photography and I am trying to become a pro photographer, buying expensive gear, and "shooting" my friends one by one, and doing street photography as well. However, I'm still bored and sometimes gloomy at nights.

    Sometimes, I feel that finding an interesting person to hang out is so essential in making life meaningful and fun, but such a person, you know, a really compatible one is hard to find, and even if you find him/her, would they value you the same as much as you do? That's how people get hurt. Well, that's how I got hurt.

    Sorry for blabbing so much. I like the way you talked, and would like to invite you into my small group. I'm a Chinese woman, not one of those 20-ish something, and two of my girlfriends are American, and they are very nice and fun to hang out. If you are interested, contact me via email: noreenli331@gmail.com. We can go out on a Friday evening for Sichuan food(not hot pot, though) and a beer. :)

  • Zharahk
    June 10, 2013
    5 posts

    Might be the Cycle of Funk

    http://web.archive.org/web/20060615051820/http://www.talktalkchina.com/index.php/2006/05/24/the-cycle-of-funk/

  • msinglynx
    June 12, 2013
    52 posts

    Hey guys I thought I should update. I tried doing some new things this week and I do feel way more energetic and relaxed (or could be cuz I have way less classes now that it's summer haha). Anyway:
    On Mondays I've been going to a weekly couchsurfing dinner party and trying to meet new people. This past week I went to Jah bar and finally really participated (not just run in shyly and grab a beer to drink outside) and let me tell you, free styling feels amazing and I am definitely gonna do it again. This weekend I went to flowertown with a student who showed me around a huge pond and then took me to some working artists studios. Today I cleaned out my koi pond, added some new fish and got to enjoy actually being able to see them. In the evening I went for a bike ride along the river and ended up at a second hand market inside Sichuan u.

    So I'm trying to come up with ideas of what to do: on Thursday nights I've created a couchsurfing event at lantown. My friends and I are looking for a local pool. I'm gonna teach my friend Spanish so she can teach me piano. I will take Chinese lessons twice a week.

  • msinglynx
    June 12, 2013
    52 posts

    So basically I'm trying to find new hobbies. I'm definitely going back to flowertown and Jah bar cuz I think those things will be different every time. We may go camping or fishing next month and I am definitely going to travel in august.

    As for suggestions: Elite I really wanna go to your class but I think it rained both Saturday mornings. Are you still doing them?

    Hahaha of course sadeq, let's go!
    Yokyojim I do that too sometimes.

    Colin rpg are not really my style at the moment but maybe in the future.

    Photokid I'd love to hang out. I already met one person thanks to this post and she seems alright. Just send me a message with your contact info.

    Lol zharahk well I don't really blow up or start hating on everything but maybe you are right.

  • Jiuzhaigou
    June 13, 2013
    1 post

    You could also plan tours around Sichuan in your spare time. There's an organisation called Adventure Access in Chengdu you could check out.

    What about doing touch rugby? It's non-contact, very social and you'll meet loads of like minded people. It's caters for all level of fitness and experience and there's a great social circle who organise their own events all the time - some very quiet, some not so. You're bad ankles and wrists should be no problem either.

  • Roxana
    September 1, 2013
    4 posts

    Awesome suggestions, took notes of some of them. didn't know that there were so many things to do in Chengdu! (just moved in)

  • futbol89
    September 4, 2013
    19 posts

    I don't know how your Chinese is but I suggest making some Chinese friends with people who have already graduated. They're not going anywhere any time soon and you don't have to worry about your friends cycling in and out every couple months. Chinese people love making foreign friends and they'll always invite you to come out with them. Going to a bar or club with some of my foreign friends can be fun but going out to hotpot with Chinese people is a blast. They always want to play some type of table game or they're just trying to get you drunk off those 2% beers they order and afterwards they always end up at KTV.

    You should try traveling a little too. A bus to leshan is only 100kuai round trip and a couple hours ride, a train to chongqing is about the same, Nanchong is 200kuai round trip trainride, etc.

    Just head down to your local bus/train station one weekend, find a cheap ride somewhere and go away for the weekend. I just did a 2 day trip to leshan the other day for about 300-400 kuai. If you leave early enough in the day, you could do a 1 day trip for half as much and still have a bunch of time in the city to explore and have some fun. This way, you can change up the scenery a little without actually moving out of Chengdu.

  • invisible
    September 19, 2013
    1534 posts

    i highly recommend the exhibition & tour: Dialogue in the dark

    http://www.gochengdoo.com/en/blog/item/3003/chengdu_dialogue_in_the_dark_an_eyeopening_experience

    http://www.gochengdoo.com/en/listings/item/che_33128/chengdu_dialogue_in_the_dark_service_center

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