Date registered: October 19, 2010
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The rule is 5 years in ONE province. After 5 years, say in Sichuan, you must leave and stay elsewhere. After one year you may return to Sichuan.
Several in my city had to leave and all are still in China. 2 plan to return to Sichuan.
Trial.... first they put 2, very, tall policemen on either side of you whilst standing in front of the judge. Be forewarned; do not say the witnesses are mad or bad. As you are already guilty admit to everything. Being bi-polar is not an acceptable excuse. If deemed deranged you will be confined to a padded cell in Outer Mongolia along with 40 other miscreants and allowed one box of wax crayons and a ouija board. No makeup or deodorant to sniff. One way to pass the years quickly is to read out loud the millions of digits of Pi after the decimal point.
Study online with: http://www.london.ac.uk/distance_learning.html
Come out with a genuine degree ! No not photocopy it for sale. If incarcerated for enough time you can even do a Masters Degree. Best choose Philosophy to give some idea of the purpose of life.
I trust this will be of use in your decision making.
Best regards, WiseD, the Devil's Advocate.
Just go to the PSB Foreign Affairs Office in a city and ask to renew for 30 days. You ought to be able to extend at least once. Twice is common for a total of 3 months. Just say you want to travel a bit longer around China. I know many who have done this and none were asked to show money. Presumably your friend has a ticket for leaving China to another destination. But do not overstay the visa.
Methinks you are joking as commonsense suggests the answer is it would be definitely illegal. One might question your motives. Certainly the PSB would find it hard to believe it was for fun.
If you were to use a genuine University then that would infringe on their ownership of logo and reputation and much else.
Already there are people faking degrees and many using them to find jobs. I know several who do so. Photoshop makes it rather simple.
The law says that anyone faking degrees or using them faces jail, large fine, deportation and banned from returning to China for ten years.
Next you might consider forging the 100rmb note with a disclaimer.
Some years ago this question was asked in a newspaper in the UK and many thousands made their suggestions. It made interesting reading and used much common sense. I doubt the list has changed much although times have changed as have fashions and desires.
Here are some of my thoughts on the subject using memories from those words in past times.
Let's call them pubs for the moment as to me a bar is the actual drinks area within a drinking place.
Most pubs are personalised by the owner cum landlord. It is usually he or she or a couple who decide the decor or theme. Of course if it is an old world place then original features will be mixed with other trivia and knic-knacs.
An important consideration is the actual people who run a pub and who are on show. Landlords were known as 'mine host' and for a good reason. If one has a dour and taciturn bloke or a crabby lady dishing out the drinks and food then the atmosphere will get fogged. With so much choice as to where to spend one's earned pennies and pounds most choose who they want to hand over the cash to. 'Does he/she deserve my money ?' is a good question. Originally the landlords were the first on the list of reasons. Think about your favourite pub and who runs it?
The position of the pub is important. Is it local? Is it hard to find? Is it in a safe area? In a big city then local pubs get local customers. Every university or college has popular pubs nearby.
The decor is another guide. Some like those trendy places as in the London Docks or Manhattan. Some yearn for beams and comfy old chairs. Others go for themed places with staff dressed as pirates or Red Guards. Some with a nautical theme. Some go along Irish or Ozzie lines and some even try German or French.
Cleanliness ! Ashtrays and tissues removed and toilets washed often. No bad smells or sticky seats. No people putting bare sweaty feet on sofas either. Doesn't really matter if the furniture is worn or even a trifle threadbare so long as it all looks... clean. After all a 400yo pub is unlikely to look pristine.
Will I meet friends there? This is important, especially in China where the locals don't usually talk with strangers. I am from a 2000yo village with 300 people and the pub is from 1216. I virtually knew everyone but if I went to Manchester or wherever there was often someone to pass the time with. Will my friends be happy to meet up in such and such a pub?
Safety is another thing to ponder. Pubs with cheap beer and mainly younger clients might be more likely to have the odd fracas? Remove the word might probably. Would you take your date there; or mother?
Drinks choice might be another factor. If only Coorls Light was on offer then would that be a plus? Can they make good cocktails might be a question by some afficiados. Yes, a decent choice is a plus.
Price comes at the bottom of most lists. There is not much point in selling 8rmb Carlsbergs in a shabby and smelly dump in a ghetto area. One has a choice of where to go. If one were to find the perfect pub with the decent landlord and lovely decor. If it is near home and full of friends. If it were comfortable but not too cosy that everyone fell asleep. Then the price of the drinks would not matter so much. One would expect to pay more in a Bond Street pub than at a Railway Station Arms. If the beers had arrived in Shanghai in barrels from Germany and were then trained 2000kms to SW China this might affect the price. If the place actually turns on the heating in winter and has obviously spent a fortune on making the pub welcoming then of course the drinks will be higher. Everyone was given a choice. Inflation is not helping here in China either. One could sit at home watching a pirated movie under a duvet with a warm Snow beer at hand to save money. One could forget the beer and save even more.
But at the end of the day a pub is a business and a haven for some. Success is how many choose to enter and sit or stand and order drinks. In fact if it were so bad no-one would bother. Another is just how long the place has been opened and survived.
I ask for other reasons why one favours one place to another.... WD
I believe there are no libraries full of foreign books. Finding children's books in English is very unlikely except perhaps in Hong Kong. The biggest bookshops have a few paltry classics for the Chinese to use for study. Amazon.com is probably your only option. I myself have a Bank of China Visa card which can make purchases online in the UK and US or whichever country. I even buy British foods online from the UK.
On another note, I have read that home teaching is often a mistake and especially when different ages are so mixed. I would certainly have no qualms sending my children, in your circumstances, to a Chinese Kindergarten. I gave over 3000 lessons in the most wonderful nursery school imaginable ( plus another 2500 to pupils and students aged 6-23). Imagine having children who can translate for you in a few short months; it happens here. I find it a little strange that some want their youngsters to mix primarily with ex-pat children when they could learn so much from children here.
My first reaction to this missive was "when did I write this?". Then I realised the American angle and remembered that I am a Brit. But I can make one winning bet with absolute certainty: my step-son is far, far worse than yours. You didn't even use the words; zombie; doss house; tattooed; laundry basket;haircut;19 pairs of shoes; mold; flies; slamming;decibels;KFC litter and a long etcetera.
The only thing going for him is after Shanghai Music school he is on the road to being in his chosen profession: a rock star. He will be 27 in 9 years or just less. Anyone pining for a son ? He can be rented.
My wife orders a lot of books on Amazon, China.
An idea would be to open a swopping forum on this site. Simply anyone posts books they no longer want. Only yesterday I bought 120 books from a foreigner who'd been refused a visa under the '5 years only in one province law'.
Life goes on much as before. No-one has mentioned the ban in my places and the majority smoke and wander around offering their fags. Even the staff smoke when customers proffer them and the table of senior judges last night were puffing and slurping away. Since there are no actual penalties for smoking or allowing smokers then just how can the ban be enforced? But the cigar girl failed last evening on her two forries to entice anyone to buy her produce but that could be the 150-300rmb per cigar.
What next? Banning alcohol in pubs?
I met someone seven years ago to whom I ventured the same question. Her reply was " There's a shop named in English; The Big Shoe Shop in Chengdu." So the next time I travelled there I went hunting. It took maybe 2 hours to discover this little kiosk of a place and hanging in the window was..... a giant's shoe.
The simple answer is to go online with a Chinese friend helping. I buy most of my clothes and shoes online from the UK. I have ordered several pairs locally though from ECCO who get my 45s from HK but they are very costly.. 2300rmb plus.
It isn't so much added chemicals but the heavy metals etc. which lie in Chinese soils where tobacco is grown. It permeates, pervades and invades many foodstuffs also of course. The Marlboros in my place are from abroad as are the Dunhills. Is America pristine and pure?
I would find it virtually impossible to tell a customer to not smoke in my pubs. It can be hard to reason with people especially after they have imbibed alcohol. I guess I could just thump them to get my meaning across.
It will be quite an experiment if the ban succeeds as by now I must be addicted to my 20 cigarettes a day passive smoking. Will I have cravings ? Will my precious wife find me cranky and intolerable ? Will I have to close ? Just what is the meaning of life Grasshopper?
I do not desire to be unquestionably right in all things nor to be taken overly seriously. Today's BBC Online News stated that it includes bars and restaurants but perversely not the workplace. I shall put a note in my diary for ten years hence to check up on the enforcement.
Thank you for editing out your last sentence and it is now invisible. It reads in a kindlier way.
For all the right reasons Beijing will implement smoking bans in public places. This to include bars and restaurants. It is not mentioned in the proposal how this will be enforced.
I have conflicting interests. I have never put a cigarette in my mouth; of any kind. I have lived most of my life in clean environments with fresh winds and wild views. Suddenly it seemed I moved to a city. In my mind it is big and sprawling but those around me apologise, saying it is just a small one. But they tell me the rare breezes set off from the mountains of Tibet and not from spluttering Beijing or the Gobi. For arguments sake allow me to be deceived sometimes. You might be led to surmise i do not dwell in Chengdu nor Kunming. Coming from a village of 300 that would be a jungle or two too far.
My dilemma? I sell beers and wines and spirits. My whole livelihood comes from working for myself. I am not pampered anymore by a school or college. In fact I've been self-employed for 24 years with just a 2 year break while I adjusted to my now 7+ year sojourn in China.
The Chinese smoke. They smoke a lot. In fact they are not only the number one country of smokers percentage-wise but each smoker smokes more on average than in any other country. Their cigarettes of choice are also less clean ( is a 'clean' cigarette an oxymoron? ) and with more heavy metals etc. in them. They also seem to all smoke in pubs and bars. Okay, I installed expensive air purifiers in my pub/bars. We have good a/c. We even empty half-full ashtrays. Was this for my customers' or for my own health? International brand too and guaranteed to each filter 70m3 per hour...... but. They only help rather than succeed when we are packed.
" Smoking ban in British Pubs" sounded like a death knell. It also made the doorways look less inviting with gangs of draggers loitering about.
Now my question is: will this affect my business? My initial thoughts have been that it will get universally ignored. Yes, I can see some ex-pats tapping smokers and pointing with disdain at the signs and regailing those who laugh back.They just might allow corners for smokers so the uniformed health inspectors ( yes, they abound and do their job with [malice aforethought?] gusto. Their white buses even say Health Inspector on them in English !).
At first I was pensive about this but after a few seconds of deep pondering I am of the conclusion that for some time at least the ban will not affect the way of traditional life at most bars and pubs.
I've been to lots of Chinese clubs and bars as friends own some 40 of them. I've spent a lot of time in Shamrock and Bookworm. Shamrock needs little introduction. It's popularity speaks for itsef. I've eaten a dozen times there and usually something different from last time. No complaints at all and their pizza was a mile better that Pizza Hut. Landlord knows how to host which matters. Draught beers !! Cold !!
It took me a number of visits to fathom the secret of Bookworm's success. Having an Irishman owner is a big plus. Who else knows about booze and ambiance better than someone from the Isle. But what is it? A sort of sit-down department store? Coffee lounge/beer hall/bookshop cum library and meeting place. Full of nerdy ex-pats or intellectuals? Normal passersby and backpackers with wide eyes. Yes; Chinese ladies too. I did chooses that fine word, ladies. Wallowers in comfort on MSN and Skype? But that's it ! It just happens with no pushing or prodding.People CHOOSE to go there and that is such a compliment. No girls splashing 12 bottles of watery lager into strangers' glasses or flashing lights to add 'atmosphere'. People who greet others with a smile and staff who recognise regulars. A place to network and while away dull days. Coffee is great and the menu imaginative and quickly served with politeness and pepper pots. Unless one is wanting a bawdy disco and flirty Chinese maids there cannot be anything to dismiss with disdain. I've tried it all. I've bought several books and beers. A gallon of strong coffee and a sinkful of plates of food. I've marvelled at the choice of music and wondered at the eclectic collection. Yes. No complaints from me and lots of acclaim. Peter; be proud and don't let the bugs bite.
I had various business meetings in Chengdu and simply googled; Bars in Chengdu. I noted that several bars/pubs have foreign owners rather than being Chinglish. We went to one bar first which features in many comments online but it was grubby and shabby. We left it in a hurry. I have since heard it has now been sold to some Chinese people.
We drove to the Underground and were bemused to find it was not in a cellar.My first impression was it looked clean and cared for. That is far more important than prices or how many beautiful people frequent it.
Choosing a drink was simple. Most bars are supplied by the same company in Chengdu so have much the same choice.Cold is important so 5 points out of 5. A genuine Budvar rather that the cat's pee from US of A via Chongqing. Several if I remember correctly.
I did wander around and there were about 25 in downstairs and all Chinese bar one and about 50:50 guys and girls. Not bad for a Tuesday and there were more on the mezzanine.
I went into a newish room and the kitchen door was open. It impressed with it's s/s and gadgets and gizmos. Someone has invested properly in the future. No-one was sitting in that room but it was lit a trifle brightly. I had already eaten... at Bookworm.
It is actually hard to decorate a foreign style bar/pub here in Sichuan. It takes time to collect all those nick-knacks and bits'nbobs which make a pub feel older. How to find 'English' bar chairs and such-like? How long has Underground been open? 9 months? It will morph into a different place as more months pass. Pictures? The owner says he has nearly 40 posters and prints coming from the UK. That will change the walls somewhat. More investment ( which is what that dismal other bar needs pretty damn quick if it is to survive). Stools were uncomfortable with no cushions and the red sofas incongruous but that's easily remedied; China's cheap for covers etc.
Music was right for chit-chattering away and got changed rather than looped forever and a day.
So the owner/partner has a PhD. Blimey... that's a no no? Been a university professor or what? Mean he can't talk about footie or cricket? Knows nothing of the real world like the Yanquis do? Can't hold his beer or even his glass? Perhaps if I were his age and with his temperament I should sail to far-off Cathay and review my life as Grasshopper did in days of yore. Doctor of Philosophy I believe and surely those characters think about such things. Perhaps an Ashram or Tibetan mountain peak is more suitable that a raucus bar? Bamen, taxi drivers and barbers all fall into the same bracket.Wistful romantics. Philosophers. Cogs in wheels. We all are.
I made friends there ! I spent a couple of banterous hours with Garry and a Scot. We drank Lao beers and Harbins. The staff smiled and attended. A couple of shots of scotch too. We discussed life of course and complained our bums were sore from unpadded stools. Promises were made; mostly about the cushions but also about pictures and lighting. And no snide remarks nor complaints about the harshness of living in a wilderness. 11pm and Irish broth free on Tuesdays. I suggested adding potatoes and barley and calling it stew. But thanks for the freebie.
My regards about Underground? I genuinely liked my hours there and our 'discussions'. I was aware it is a trifle goldfish-bowl with so much uncovered glass. Did I mention the cushions which were not there? I am a bit spoiled as the prices were not important. It is known that price come far down the list desires for a good watering hole. Landlord is usually first: "should I give that man my money?". Meeting with new or old friends comes high as does cleanliness. A choice of good beers amongst the widdle helps. Noise can be most important; especially lack of it. Decor has been discussed. Girls didn't figure, what with Mrs Lucky upstairs awaiting.
Did I make friends? Yes. I met Mark while he was on his days off from his job in the wilds. Big bloke if one needs a description. Girls might add 'fit'. He'd be pleased with that. He can hold his drinks too. I'd be happy to do it again with Garry and his clan. I shall and soon.
I'll bet 100 quai he's still there when some are gone and the place will looks cosier and cluttered with those bit'nbobs. I shall take an inflatable cushion just in case he gets dementia.